I have way to much yarn, I bought way to much yarn.

As the new year has come and the Tsunami disaster has struck and I watch video of people swept away and killed, I realize how shallow and self absorbed most of us are in our own lives, myself being an example of it.

So I am disgusted with myself for spending as much money on yarn last year as I did. I don't actually know how much but I'm sure I can take a gues or two and it doesn't make me feel better. On top of that fact I don't finish enough things to even justify it.

So this year I make a vow to myself to not let asthetic pleasures take over my life. I will knit, I will sew... but i will not amass large quantities of fabric and fiber as a way to make myself feel better. I will DO MORE instead of *wanting* to do more.

As thinking humans, in our existing culture.. it's just so facinating the importance we put on static material objects. My husband said last night. "All I need is you and the dog, and I'm good". I gave him a big hug, he said it out of no where to, while watching the news.

So in a related topic, while I am on this self hate binge.. I am having serious issues ordering a new computer. My old dell is nearly dead, and paid for. I have the cash to buy a new one. I want a laptop because I'm a little women and I need something easier to take places, and as I am a computer proffesional I don't want something cheap. I want something that costs 2.6K and I researched a while lot and thats simply the lowest I am willing to go on features..

so I have sat here for a month.. feeling frustrated.. I just can't seem to click the buy button, I feel like I don't deserver it after I realized how much yarn I have. I FEEL BAD about wanting to buy a new ocmputer. I can't shake the feeling.