wow, really?
When the husbeast came home last night he brought our regular weekly sushi take-out, but he also had a dozen of the most spectacular pink-fushia roses I have ever seen, and a bottle of wine. I was in total shock, I had decided to expect nothing as I feel embarrassed to say he gave me nothing for my birthday, and nothing for Chanukah/Xmas. I had asked him when Baby Girl was born to buy me a piece of jewelry, as is the jewish tradition, at-least in my family. I wanted something I could give Baby Girl when she was old enough to take care of it. After making sure my sister, aunt, and mother gave him some crap about not getting me anything for my birthday (they weren't mean!) we went out a few days after Xmas and he got me a pretty sapphire necklace with 3 stones on it, one to represent each of us. So now even if I'm not with Baby Girl I can wear it and touch it and think of her.
So I was shocked when he came home with flowers, and NICE flowers even! I did a little dance around the kitchen and took photos as the husbeast getting me flowers is certainly worthy of photos and dancing. I'm hoping he did something for his mom after I sent him about 10 reminder e-mails and handed him some magazines and sent him various links to think she might like. I'm not sure how to get him to be better about gift giving. Sometimes nagging him works, and sometimes it doesn't. Men are so weird.
I am going to be in my very best friends wedding a few short weeks from now and I'm sort of freaking out about that. I'm anxious about how things will go with Baby Girl and if she'll sleep okay while we are gone, I suppose it's not the end of the world if she doesn't but I have never been away from her very long so I suppose this will be a nice way for me and the husbeast to go do something together and have a little freedom.
This month has felt a lot different with Baby Girl. I feel more "joy" in being with her. It's like I am more "awake" if that makes sense. I think I've gained some confidence and come to some specific conclusions about babies. 1) All babies are different 2) because of #1 any advice anyone gives you no matter how well experienced they may be can be complete crap because your baby is DIFFERENT then their baby 3) even good advice from your own mother should sometimes be ignored because when you try what they suggest and it doesn't work you might feel like your doing something wrong (even if they would smack you for thinking such a thing) but it's a natural feeling and the truth is ALL BABIES ARE DIFFERENT! 4) #1 is particularly important to remember in regards to sleeping habits or sleeping abilities 5) Reading books may help but they can also frustrate you. All the books say it's good for babies to be to bed by 7pm or around then. BG used to go to bed each night at 8pm, then one day she stopped and now it's best to put her to bed at 8:30 or 9:00, if I attempt to put her to bed earlier she does fall asleep but ALWAYS wakes up half an hour to an hour later, and then it takes another 2 hours to get her to sleep. She is fussy after around 5pm but it gets the worst around 7 because I KNOW she needs to be asleep, but I also know if I get her to sleep she will just wake up again shortly. I do try every few weeks to let her to go bed at 7:30 or 8:00 just to see if she still is doing the wake-up stuff as for 6)) BABIES CHANGE their habits fairly often, they may still be the "same baby" but they often will change when or how they go down to sleep easier, or nap or how long they will sleep.
For the past week BG wakes up every 2-4 hours at night. She normally will go 12 hours and only wake up once if at all to eat.
So now that I am more confident I think I am able to enjoy her more, and enjoy life more. It's not so much wondering if I did something different would it be better. Even if I had let her "fall asleep awake" or "put her down sleepy" which was dang near impossible in the beginning, she still may have had trouble falling asleep on her own now because of #6. So while I still ponder and wonder certain things I don't worry so much.
I just wanted to capture some of those thoughts for my one purposes, if you have made it this far, thanks for listening!
Comments
April says;
I never understood the whole - "get your baby on a schedule" concept. I have always just been the 'go with the flow' type. They fall asleep when they are tired, they eat when they are hungry, pee when they need to... whatever
The less stress and second guessing ourselves the better.
All babies ARE different, our Mothers aren't always right, and neither is that nozy lazy in the grocery store.
....and most importantly YES men are very weird.
amy says;
not that you need any approval, but i think it's really wonderful the approach you're taking with your girl to be open to letting her tell you in her own way what's going to work for her at any given time.
hooray for gifts! sometimes the best part is just knowing that he thought of you. my husband has some sort of boycott on v-Day, and last year my 30th sort of slipped by unnoticed because we'd gotten married 10 days earlier. so of course i was thankful and happy for the wedding, and tried not to be disappointed abut my bDay, but i still was, just a little. so i was really happy when he offered to take us out to dinner tonight, since i know he did it because he knew it would make me smile.
mamie says;
every single thing you wrote about BG is right, every baby is soooo different, i witness this everyday. and they will always be just fine because you love your BG and she will thrive on hat. sleep will be what it is, never the same for my two, never what i read about in books. throw 'em out (for awhile anyway). you are doing awesome and you are a great mommy, pixie. so glad to hear the 'joy' is with you. smiles.
Anne says;
Wow - congrats on the flowers.
And babies - my firm philosophy is that if what you're doing works for you as a family, then it works, and everyone who thinks otherwise can butt out. So what if it isn't the 'official' bedtime - your life is easiest at the moment doing what you know works for you and BG. In the future things will change. Then you can change with it.
She's gorgeous - you're obviously doing lots and lots right!
Oiyi says;
Sushi sounds awesome right now.
I am so glad to read your post about your baby girl, after only getting 2-3 hours of sleep last night because my baby was fussy and wouldn't stop crying all night. She can be so good some nights and then turn into a devil on the other nights. I try tips that family and friends give and read a online boards. Every baby seems to run the gamut.
Sharon T says;
You seem to be so intuned to your baby girl, so just let that be your guide.
As for your hubby, my mother-in-law used to tape small pictures of things she'd like as a hint, to the bathroom mirror, refrig, etc about 2 weeks before her b-day or xmas. My husband always remembers our anniversary and my birthday.
Allegra says;
AMEN to your list of baby observations. I am right there with you! Congrats on the roses, they're beautiful!
Darci says;
Ahhh..the training of the gift giving husband. I know my husband hates VDay ("Why should I have to be told to love you?" "I give gifts all year") While all of this is true I tell him it still is important to the little girl in me - So I just ask for a token...a thought. This year was the damn cutest lamb slippers. He was directed to them by my 16 yo daughter (very handy, they are). The 14 yo pressured him into the accompanying candles and we have a gift. They knew he was getting the MacBook Air and were concerned he would feel bad. Train them early, and train them right is my motto.
As for babies - Just when you have it figured out, they change. And it goes right through to teenagehood.
Crystal says;
Well you know how *I* feel on this subject! I'm right there with you. And after exhausting myself for hours and days and weeks I've finally just accepted - it is what it is. ;)